Saturday, November 24, 2012

Dad?

You would never know that I am hurting,
because I have never let it show;
but now I feel I cannot hold back,
I have to let you know.
I must have been mistaken to think 
that blood is thicker than water,
for I feel that I have a stranger for a father,
and you, a stranger for a daughter.
I know the relationship we've had,
has at times been distantly strained,
but the distance has only grown wider,
like a creek after heavy rains.
The choices you have made,
so that you would not have to be alone,
have made the house I grew up in,
no longer feel like 'home'.
You barely have any 'quality' time
with your grand kids, who adore you so,
but hey, who am I to judge,
as long as you’re not on your own.
I have really tried to make an effort
but I don't think you even see,
that now we have become nothing more
than an estranged family.
I have tried to respect your choices,
you've made it crystal clear,
that family moves further down your list of priorities
with each passing year.
I am angry at you for letting this happen,
and hurt that it has come to this;
but I will not set myself up to fail any longer,
I am going to have to give it a big miss.
I love you with all my heart,
after all, you are my 'dad',
which makes this situation,
all the more sad.
I cannot sit on the fence anymore
while you stick your head in the sand,
maybe it will change, when,
you decide to stand up and be a man.
You are the one, who
has let this come between us,
making excuse after excuse,
oh and understanding is a 'must'.
Now the camel’s back has been broken,
much like you and me;
hope that it will ever walk again,
is fading rapidly.
You will always be my father,
but I cannot keep trying anymore.
This time the hurt, has cut me,
down to the very core.

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